My quest to find the ‘alligator brides’
Last night’s Game Awards had some really cool surprises. We got a new Alan Wake announcement, we got the slit scared out of us by Slitterhead, and an adorable pot friend (like an actual friend in a pot, not a cannabis companion) dropped some Elden Ring lore on us. But there was one surprise that left me and my colleagues at The Verge confused, curious, and breathless for more: what game has alligator brides in it and how can we get our hands on it?
Ming-Na Wen, savior of China and Boba Fett’s right hand, appeared during the Game Awards to present the award for Best Narrative (which, by the way, went to the very well-deserving Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy). During her speech, she mentioned that as the mother of a gaming-obsessed kid, she enjoys when games are more than just, “blowing up grenade factories and yelling obscenities at your alligator brides.”
At her mention of “alligator brides,” everyone paused, took a moment to assess if that was truly what she said, and then wracked their brains to figure out just what the hell she was talking about. After turning on captions and running the video back, Wen did in fact say “alligator brides,” so it wasn’t a misunderstanding.
I asked my colleagues what game could she be talking about, but nobody could think of anything. Dieter Bohn did find an “Alligator Bride” in the form of a song by blues-rock band Howlin’ Rain, but I don’t think these folks were the saurian spouses to which Wen was referring.
On Twitter, people were just as enthusiastic about the idea of alligator brides as we were.
WHAT GAME ALLOWS ME ACCESS TO ALLIGATOR BRIDES AND WHY AREN’T I PLAYING IT
— Mike ‘ALL CAPS’ Sholars (@Sholarsenic) December 10, 2021
I WISH games had more grenade factories and alligator brides
— Nathan Grayson (@Vahn16) December 10, 2021
i’m sorry i don’t care about narratives i want to play the alligator bride game
— Adi Robertson (@thedextriarchy) December 10, 2021
I want the video game about blowing up grenade factories and shouting obscenities at alligator brides. Give me this game. #TheGameAwards
— Ryan Brown ❄️ (@Toadsanime) December 10, 2021
Still, with no information on this elusive game forthcoming, I decided to go to the source.
I asked Ms. Wen herself.
@MingNa Hi! My name is Ash and I’m a video game reporter @verge
As me and my colleagues watched your presentation during the game awards, we were really curious when you mentioned your son yelling obscenities at his alligator brides. What game was that? We want to play too!— Ash Parrish (@adashtra) December 10, 2021
I even decided to tap subject matter expert @GatorsDaily to see what they might know.
I haven’t gotten a response from either yet. But the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that this “alligator brides” game isn’t some obscure indie title in which you’re presented with a roster of sentient, sexy, anthropomorphized reptiles to date, woo, and eventually marry (although that is a game I would play) but something far more mundane.
It’s Skyrim.
Y’know, that Bethesda RPG that released 100 years ago and also this year.
Or if not Skyrim specifically, one of the other Elder Scrolls games. To the uninitiated, the Elder Scrolls universe is populated by humans, cat-folk, and a race of upright reptilian peoples called Argonians. Elder Scrolls games let you marry these humans, cat-folk, and upright reptilian Argonians. As the mystery of alligator brides continues, my best guess is that Wen’s son is an avid Skyrim player and lover of a lusty Argonian maid.
If this is in fact true, I hope that we as a community adopt the practice of calling Skyrim the “alligator bride” game.
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