Apple’s trust issues could end up hurting us all

You remember the App Store’s motto, right?

“The apps you love. From a place you can trust.”

Let’s check in on how that’s going.

“Indie Developer Dogged By Scammy Clone Apps Again Highlights the Holes in Apple’s App Store Review Process”

To be fair, Apple doesn’t say what you can trust the App Store for. Maybe the App Store will help you move someday. We don’t know. It doesn’t seem right now that you can trust all the apps to be scam-free if that’s what you were thinking it meant. But, is that worth more to you than someone who shows up and loads your comic book collection and dilapidated Casper bed into a rented van and then back out again for the reward of a couple of slices of pizza and a canned IPA?

According to developer Kevin Archer, a copycat app lifted the artwork and text from his app (kinda scammy), asked for a review during the onboarding process (super scammy), and then charged a weekly $3.99 subscription (neon light saying “SCAM” goes off over your iPhone).

(Pro tip: weekly subscriptions are almost always a sign the app is a scam.)

Well, at least it’s easy to get your app onto the App Store! Ha ha haaaaaaa.

Archer went on to say that indie developers regularly get their apps “rejected for silly things,” while others spam [the] ‌App Store‌ with imitations and weekly subscriptions.”

He’s not wrong!

That was last Wednesday. As of Monday, the copycat app has been removed, as has the other sketchy app made by the same company. So… problem solved! All is well! The system of complaining about things on Twitter and getting Mac news sites to write about it works! Not that this particular solution is actually detailed in the App Store rules anywhere. As a matter of fact, Apple rather famously used to tell developers that if they “run to the press and trash us, it never helps.” Seems like that’s the undocumented process now.

Well, now we can put all that unpleasantness behind us.

And move on to the next complaint about the App Store on Twitter which was posted Sunday.

“Will no one rid me of these turbulent tweets?!” Tim Cook was heard to cry. (Disclaimer: Cook was not heard to cry anything.)

This case revolves around the definition of the “Data Not Collected” checkmark that Apple hands out based on what developers say about their apps. The app in this case, one promoted by Apple, says it does not collect any data but then refuses to launch unless you let it send data to a third party. The app uses a third-party tool that anonymizes data and thus may skate on Apple’s provision that data “not be sent off the device in a way that can identify the end-user or device”. Is that how people think of “Data Not Collected”? Perhaps, but it doesn’t help that the link to the privacy policy for the app doesn’t work.

Well, as unfortunate as this all is, surely Apple is learning from these problems and will soon take the idea of App Store reform ser-

“Apple Fined Another €5 Million Over Dating Apps as Dutch Regulators Say Apple Has ‘Refused to Put Forward Any Serious Proposals’”

Or not. Yep. Okay.

Apple can afford to pay €5 million fines all day long, of course, and not even notice. Heck, if Tim Cook is granted his new compensation package, he could pay it himself every day for a fortnight and still earn as much as he made in 2020. Not that the guy isn’t worth a lot of money but was the $14.8 million he was already making not “a lot of money”?

Meanwhile, the horny one is pleased to report he no longer buys Safeway Selects tonic.

[adjusts cravat]

Apple seems very confident it will continue to be able to play the same game it’s been playing for years, complaints be damned. The Macalope’s mother was always fond of ruefully warning, “These games end in tears” when the Macalope was running around jumping off the furniture.

Guess we’ll see what happens.