Build-A-Bear’s new Matrix Bear probably doesn’t know kung fu

Build-A-Bear has announced its latest movie tie-in: an absolutely incredible-looking Matrix-themed bear (officially called “Matrix Bear”) just in time for the release of the upcoming fourth film in the absolutely-not-for-children film series, The Matrix Resurrections.

Matrix Bear is unique among Build-A-Bear bears, with green and black fur patterned after the iconic “digital rain” effect from the films. It also features The Matrix logo on one of its feet, with an optional “hacker costume” outfit patterned after Neo’s garb from the films.

EXT. The Westchester Mall Build-A-Bear Workshop

Morpheus: Let me tell you why you’re here, at the Westchester Mall Build-A-Bear Workshop. You’re here because you know something. What you know you can’t explain, but you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life, that there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I’m talking about?

Neo: The Bear-trix.

Morpheus: Do you want to know what it is?

Neo: Yes.

(Neo and Morpheus are both teddy bears in this scene)

The new Matrix Bear is part of Build a Bear’s “The Bear Cave” lineup of bears and accessories intended for adult fans of stuffed animals, rather than the brand’s usual, more child-friendly products. That said, there is still some serious cognitive dissonance in seeing a leather duster-clad stuffed animal decked out as Neo from the violent, R-rated films with a Bear-A-Bear workshop heart logo on its paw.

Matrix Bear isn’t cheap, either: the bear itself costs $29 on its own, while the Matrix costume (which includes the coat and sunglasses outfit ) is an additional $22 on top, for a total of $51 for the full set. The Matrix Bear is also an online exclusive, so you won’t be able to go into an actual Build-A-Bear workshop and stuff your own Neo-lookalike teddy at your nearest suburban mall (which is probably for the best, all things considered).

The Neo-style bear is the only Matrix-themed outfit that Build-A-Bear offers, which is bad news for anyone hoping to round out their collection with Trinity or Morpheus bears. Although, technically, there’s nothing stopping you (other than financial responsibility and common sense, that is) from getting a few dozen extra bears in a bunch of matching suits to recreate the Neo / Agent Smith clone fight from The Matrix Reloaded in stop-motion with an army of stuffed animals.

INT. Neo and Morpheus (still talking teddy bears) continue their conversation by the FLUFF ME STATION inside the Westchester Mall Build-A-Bear Workshop

Morpheus: The Bear-trix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to school… when you go to the Westchester Mall Build-A-Bear Workshop… when you pay for your new fuzzy friend at the Westchester Mall Build-A-Bear Workshop. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

Neo: What truth?

Morpheus: That you are a bear, Neo. Like everyone else, you were born into being a furry ball of fluff. Into a prison that you cannot taste or see or touch. A prison for your mind.

END SCENE.