Microsoft is selling tech pants for $150. (Wait, what are tech pants?)

I feel as if you and I have an unspoken agreement.

I don’t think about what you’re wearing, and you don’t think about what I’m wearing either.

It’s better that way.

Microsoft, however, has a different idea. It wants you to be proud of what you’re wearing when you’re at your computer or console. Perhaps more importantly, the company wants you to be proud of Microsoft.

What else can one conclude from perusing Microsoft’s new Hardwear Collection? A fine name, you’ll surely agree.

Channeling its inner Gucci, Microsoft has released this nine-piece wonder in collaboration with Gavin Mathieu, founder of Supervsn Studios.

Should you have missed out on Supervsn before now, it’s “a Los Angeles-based collective that is focused on creating thought-provoking PRODUCTS, CONTENT, and EXPERIENCES that INSPIRE CREATIVITY. Defined by the intersection between CREATIVITY and REALITY, when ENERGY becomes an IDEA, and an IDEA becomes a REALITY.”

Wow. That tired me out.

(All those capital letters aren’t mine. The ones in quotes, that is.)

How, then, does Microsoft want to inspire your creativity? Well, by getting you to pay $150 for tech pants. Perhaps you’re unfamiliar with the concept. 

Let’s allow Microsoft to enlighten you. Its new Hardwear Tech Cargo Pants come in a slightly uncreative selection of colors: green or green.

What makes them specifically tech pants? I’m not entirely sure. All I can give you is Microsoft’s own sell: “‘Cargo pants are my go-to item as a creative,’ said creative director Gavin Mathieu. This updated staple adds extra pocket placements and other thoughtful features for accessibility. ‘You can zip the legs off and have cargo shorts on if you need to. It’s versatile so that you can do your thing.'”

Your thing may not be my thing or even Mathieu’s thing. These tech pants things, though, have specific attributes: “100% cotton ripstop, Cargo pockets, Waist adjusters, Zip-off leg, Leg print.”

Should you still be unconvinced about paying $150 for pants to sit about in all day, may I recommend the Hardwear Blue Sky Green Hill Tee? This has a modest front with a Hardwear logo. On the back, however — did you get there already? — is the Windows XP bliss wallpaper. Yours for a mere $60.

The sell is, again, pulsating: “‘I grew up with this iconic image as a symbol of potential, opportunity, and hope,’ said Gavin Mathieu of the Microsoft computer background. The creative director of Supervsn designed the Blue Sky Green Hill tee with the wayward mouse included. ‘A nod to thinking outside the box.’ Explore this design in black and mustard colorways.

So very outside the box and the very definition of irresistible for many, I imagine.

Microsoft has done a fine job of changing its image since the dour, cold-hearted Bill Gates days. A little warmth from your CEO, a more inviting sense of design from your hardware and even a finer aesthetic for your software can come together and lift your brand spirits.

You, too, then can change your image and bring more “ENERGY” and “CREATIVITY” to your look.

You’ll be surprised how hopeful it’ll make you feel.